Scarred Sunrise: A Fortis Security Novel Book 10 (Fortis Security Series) Read online

  A gun in her hand, Nazareli Holt faced him with a calmness that was unusual for a woman of her age. He knew she was only in her mid-twenties, and the bond she had with Rhea Winslow made her a dangerous opponent, yet he sensed she still had good in her.

  “Going somewhere, Smithy?”

  The rottweilers were growling at her side, teeth bared, drool dripping as if they could almost taste his flesh on their tongues.

  “Don’t do this, Naz. Just walk away and let us go.”

  The beautiful woman tipped her head to the side, her dark hair falling like waves around her face, the indecision in her eyes clear for him to see. Smithy knew now was the time to push, to probe that hesitation.

  He held out his hand for her to take, and the dogs growled louder. “Come with us. You know this isn’t right. Help us stop her and put an end to this evil for good.” He couldn’t see her eyes, but he knew she was wavering.

  “You need to leave. Now.”

  Zack’s voice in his ear made him look towards the dark building. It would take them a while to establish a line of command now, precious minutes they’d lose because they had no free will and could no longer think independently.

  Smithy felt the men at his back watching, waiting, keeping him safe as he tried one more time to save this woman who wasn’t who they thought she was. Lost, broken, Rhea had taken advantage of her in the same way she had everyone else. Pity filled him, warring with the anger and fury he bottled up.

  Her head swung towards the approaching shouts. “Go, I’ll buy you some time.”

  “Come with us,” he begged not wanting to leave her here.

  Nazareli shook her head. “No, I have work to do. My job isn’t over yet.”

  With those words, she turned and ran towards the soldiers, the dogs at her heels. Smithy sighed, failure a heavyweight on his chest.

  “Move.”

  Simon pushed him towards the gap in the wire. Crawling through, they ran into the night, the trees and forest giving them cover until they got to the road where a dark van was waiting for them. The door opened and the four of them jumped inside and sat on the seat along the side of the van, a smiling Jace clapping him on the shoulder with a grin on his face. Zack turned from the driver’s seat, a frown on his face as he looked him over before seemingly satisfied, he put the van into drive. Will sat beside him, barely looking up as he monitored the others and coordinated the assault with smooth finesse.

  “Good to have you back, man.”

  Smithy swung his head back to Jace, who looked relieved, and he regretted the pain he’d caused him and hoped he understood why he’d done what he had.

  “Where are the others?”

  Jace cocked his head. “K and Nate are making sure nobody followed you out. Jack and Reid are drawing fire on the other side, but they set a charge which should go off in,” Jace tipped his head as an explosion rocked the van, “Now. They’ll meet us at the chopper, which is five clicks out. Dane and Daniel are covering Nate and K.

  “Liam flying the chopper?” Smithy asked as he caught Stoner watching him.

  Smithy ignored him, knowing that they were probably waiting for him to have some sort of mental breakdown. Honestly, he was surprised he hadn’t either, his mental state wasn’t good but the techniques Peyton Lawson had shown him helped.

  The woman was a PTSD counsellor and physiologist with interest in Special Forces operators. He’d only had one session, but she seemed to know her stuff. He just wasn’t sure he was ready to talk about everything he’d gone through and open himself up to that level of vulnerability. It was a cop-out, and he knew it, but the truth was, the thought of allowing his weakness to show made him break out in a cold sweat.

  “Yes, he is.”

  Smithy leaned his head back against the cab of the van and closed his eyes, taking his first deep breath in weeks. Tiredness began to hit him as the days without sleep, nights on guard waiting for them to attack him when they realised his deception, that never came, caught up with him.

  The van began to bounce, and he opened his eyes to see they were driving on grass now, the chopper a dark silhouette in front of them.

  As they stopped, he saw someone get out of the chopper, the smaller profile indicating it was a woman. He wondered who’d come with the team and knew it wouldn’t be Lucy. With her and Jace almost losing the baby a few weeks ago, Jace had grounded her indefinitely. He wondered what it must feel like to have the woman you loved more than life carrying a child you had made together.

  Regret filled him as he thought about the pain he’d caused the one woman he’d never wanted to hurt. So much pain it would never be repaid, but suddenly he wanted to. The men—his friends—had dragged him back from his suicide mission tonight. He knew in his heart he wouldn’t stop until the evil of the Divine Watchers was snuffed out for good. It was his penance for the sins he’d perpetrated, and he’d gladly walk that line.

  As he got out of the van, he saw the woman begin to run and instantly recognised the slight limp in her gait, guilt hitting him in the gut as his eyes shot to Jace. “What’s she doing here?”

  Jace shrugged. “She said you needed her and honestly, friend, I agree.”

  The rest of his words were lost as her body hit him, her arms going around his neck as she buried her head in his neck. The scent and feel of Lizzie in his arms centred him as it always did. She was his guiding light, his beating heart—at least what was left of it. Bending his head, he kissed her hair as she cried, his arms tightening around her as he absorbed her sobs. His own wall of ice cracking at the pain and anguish he could feel pouring from her.

  It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her everything he felt. That he loved her, that he’d always loved her. That he regretted walking away from her but most of all that he was sorry, but he didn’t say the words, afraid to open that door and hurt her again.

  Lizzie pulled back, and he noticed the others had moved away to give them privacy. Her large dark eyes were luminous with tears, but the strength of her character shone from her. He’d always known who the real warrior was between them. She’d shown him true power from the moment they met.

  “I called you.”

  Smithy frowned. “I turned the phone off.”

  “You gave up on me, on us.” Her voice broke, and she swallowed. “You lied to me.”

  He shook his head. “It wasn’t a lie.” He stepped back and let go of her, needing the space between them as the words she spoke shredded him.

  “You weren’t going to sacrifice yourself to kill Rhea Winslow?”

  He shut his mouth, not willing to tell her another lie. His silence said all he didn’t, and her head dropped as she hid her eyes from him. He wanted to demand she look at him; he deserved every inch of her anger.

  She raised her head and he almost stepped back as he saw the fury in her eyes. He’d never seen her look at him that way, and it hurt. He rubbed his chest to ease the ache there, wanting her love, not her anger.

  “I can’t do this alone, Ty. I love you. I always have and always will but right now, right this second, I hate you too. You need to learn to love yourself before you can love anyone else. Maybe I’m wrong, perhaps you aren’t my soulmate after all, because the other half of my soul wouldn’t keep hurting me as you do.”

  Lizzie using the name Ty, along with her words, left him open and bleeding on the ground. He wanted her to take the words back. She was his soulmate. He knew it, had always known it. He kept his mouth closed, afraid he’d beg her to keep fighting for him and knowing it was unfair.

  Her lips turned down at his silence. “You can’t even admit it now, can you? I hate you, Ty Smith. I love you, but I hate you. Stay away from me until you stop being a coward and decide to fight for your future.”

  With that, she walked towards the chopper, her back straight, her head proud, and he knew he’d fucked up bigger than he ever had before. Pitying looks from the other men made him feel worse as what he’d lost began to filter into his mind.
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br />   Chapter 4

  Lizzie gazed out of the window as the chopper took them closer to Hereford not seeing the lights of the towns out of the window as they flew past. She could feel Ty’s eyes on her, or maybe she should think of him as Smithy now. Blinking rapidly to hide the tears and focus on the anger coursing through her instead, she clenched her fists until her nails dug into the soft flesh.

  She wasn’t even sure why she was so shocked; he’d been telling her he didn’t deserve her from the get-go. Only her stupid belief that she could heal him with love had made her bang her head against a brick wall, allowing him to hurt her time and again. Tonight as she waited to see if they could rescue him, and for her own self-preservation, she’d had to accept that you could only save someone who wanted saving.

  She knew the kind, loyal, loving man that hid inside the broken shell. Knew he—no they—could have a good life but he no longer saw it. He’d never believed he was worthy. Now it was up to him to decide if he wanted her enough or not. Lizzie feared the answer, having been shown before that she might not be enough. Now she lifted her chin and refused to give him the satisfaction of her pain to add to his guilt.

  The chopper set down at Eidolon, and as soon as the doors opened, she jumped down and made for the carpark.

  “Liz, wait up.”

  Her back stiffened and pain squeezed her chest at his familiar voice, but she kept walking, anger warring with the pain.

  “Liz.” He grabbed her arm, spinning her to face him, the tense, angry look on his handsome face should have made her afraid, but it didn’t. She knew he’d never physically hurt her.

  “Go away, Smithy. We have nothing more to say to each other.”

  His eyes held a wealth of emotion as she shook his hand from her, not wanting the reminder of how his touch could affect her.

  “So that’s it?” He threw his hands up in frustration. Lizzie blinked and took a step back, the temptation to sink into his arms almost painful. “You’re giving up?”

  She shook her head, trying to clear the fog from her brain. “Me? Give up?” The tone of her voice must have warned him he’d just lit a match to a dry fuse. Stepping forward, jaw locked, not willing to hold back any of the pain to keep his feelings safe any longer she lost it. “Me give up? You gave up on me, on us, years ago.”

  She poked his chest as her volume rose. “How fucking dare you accuse me of that when all I’ve ever done is fight. Well, you know what? I’m done. You and your stupid pig-headed attitude can crawl away and die if that’s what you need to do to prove how unworthy you are.”

  Lizzie didn’t notice Dane, Daniel, and Zack off to the side watching, so angry that he’d accused her of giving up. “I’m not giving up. I’ll always love you, you big jerk, but for once, I’m choosing me. I won’t be the only one in this fight. I’m tired of waiting for you to wake up and see me. Don’t bother talking to me again until your head is on straight and you can prove to me that you deserve me.”

  Her tirade over, she turned from the stunned man who she loved, pain in every part of her body. “Dane, will you drive me home, please?”

  Her brother looked at her with sympathy before nodding and wrapping his arm around her shoulders. The gesture almost made her weep. Sliding into the car, neither said a word as he drove towards their father’s home, where she now lived with Mateo.

  The tension was radiating from Dane, but she just didn’t have it in her right then to reassure him. Pulling into the drive, she saw Lucy and Meg waiting for them in the light from the porch door.

  She turned her eyes to Dane who shrugged. “Figured you could use your sisters right now.”

  “It’s the middle of the night.”

  “Do you think that matters to them? You need them and they need to be here for you.”

  Love for her baby brother who’d always protected them filled her. “Thank you.” Her words were heavy with unshed tears.

  His lips twitched with a smile. “Am I allowed to kick his ass?”

  Lizzie laughed. “No, or maybe just a little bit.” She held her fingers an inch apart, feeling lighter. Her family had always been her world, and here they were again, proving why. When things got hard, they banded together.

  “Liz, I don’t know what happened in the past, but there’s history between you. I know you love him, and I know deep down he loves you, too. No man would walk back into the hell he did unless it were for love.”

  She cocked her head at her brother, trying to understand why he was sticking up for Smithy. “Why are you defending him?”

  “I’m not, sis. I’m just saying give it time and space. Men are a stubborn breed, and sometimes we need to come to these conclusions on our own.”

  “Maybe, but I won’t be doing the running. If he wants me, he knows where to find me.”

  “Good for you.” He looked to the house. “Now go on in, I have a wife to get home to.”

  Liz got out of the car and waved as her brother drove away, feeling her sisters’ arms come around her as her composure began to crack and the tears fell unchecked.

  “Come on, Liz. Let’s go inside and get you warmed up.”

  Lucy on one side, Meg on the other, they walked her inside, Lizzie braced by their love for her. Her dad stood in the entrance to the living room, watching them with love on his face. Seeing the look of protection mixed with worry she went to him, allowing him to enfold her in his strong arms as she had so many times as a child.

  “It will be all right, sweetheart. Everything will always be all right.” He pulled back to look into her eyes, assessing her as she listened to Meg and Lucy making drinks in the kitchen behind her. “God will only give you what you can cope with. He knows the strength you have inside you, Lizzie.”

  Not wanting to upset him, she nodded at the familiar words. “I know, Dad. I’m just so tired.”

  He stroked her hair. “I know you are, but hang on just a little longer and it will be over, you’ll see.”

  Offering him a watery smile, she changed the subject. “Was Mateo good?”

  He paused a second before his face creased into a proud smile. “He was a little star, helped me sand that wooden fruit bowl for Celeste and Zin’s place.”

  Lizzie felt a smile widen her face. “He loves working with you.”

  “He’s gonna make a fine craftsman one day.”

  Lizzie kissed her dad’s cheek. “I’m heading up. Luce and Meg probably want to grill me.”

  “They love you.” He rubbed his chest in a circle as if in pain. “It would make your mother so happy to see you girls together.”

  “I’m sure she can see, Daddy.”

  He thinned his lips and nodded. “Get on now. I’ll lock up.”

  Climbing the stairs, she stuck her head in on Mateo, going to drop a kiss to his dark head, brushing his hair back from his face, an ache of love in her heart. They’d lost precious time together when she was kidnapped, time she’d never get back. Anger surged inside her, and for a second she imagined how Smithy might feel. He’d been forced to do some horrendous things by Rhea Winslow.

  She knew some, although she didn’t know the half of it, but Smithy had given up on her long before then. Turning, she left her son to sleep, suddenly feeling the need to share her story with her sisters and soak up their love and wisdom.

  Walking into her childhood bedroom, the pale grey and lilac a more grown-up version of the teenage girl who’d dreamed of a future with Ty, she still felt the warmth and memories. Seeing Lucy sitting on her bed, her leg tucked underneath her with a mug of hot chocolate cupped in her hands gave her a nostalgic feeling, but having Megan, who looked so much like their mother doing the same thing after being lost to them for so many years, made it so much sweeter.

  “I added a dash of Bailey’s to yours.” Meg handed her the mug with a grin as Lucy frowned.

  “Don’t rub it in.”

  Lizzie took the mug after crawling between her sisters to lean her back against the headboard. The warm, creamy choco
late spiked with her favourite tipple felt good on her throat, and she closed her eyes as she swallowed.

  “Want to talk about it?” Meg asked.

  Lizzie opened them to see the worry on both her sisters’ faces. “Yes.”

  Surprise showed, and she knew they’d expected her to lock up as she always had, but tonight she needed the weight of it all off her chest. She needed to purge her secrets and move on. The fact that it would be without Smithy hurt, but it was his choice, and she had to make peace with that. Perhaps sharing their story would give her closure and a way to move on.

  “Do you remember the summer I turned sixteen?” She turned to Lucy as she reached out to take Megan’s hand in hers, not wanting her to feel any less of a part of this.

  “Yes, you got all secretive and started climbing out our bedroom window at night to meet some boy.” Her words became slower as realisation dawned. “That was Smithy!”

  “Yes, we met at the café where I worked a Saturday job. Ty was working in the kitchen washing dishes, and I was a waitress.” She smiled as the memories of a long-ago summer flew through her mind. “He was very cocky but so sweet. He’d always wait with me until Dad picked me up, and I always snuck him the last piece of Cherry Bakewell as it was his favourite.”

  Lucy couldn’t hide the hurt on her face. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

  Lizzie paused to think and reflect. “Have you ever had something that was just yours, nobody else but yours?”

  “Yes, when I fell for Jace I never said anything for ages.” Lucy tapped her heart. “I wanted to keep it safe in here.”

  “Exactly, that was how I felt about Ty. He was just for me, and I loved him with the pure abandonment of a teen with her first love, and he loved me too. We spent the entire summer together. I’d sneak out, and he’d pick me up on his bicycle, and we’d spend hours by the river. We talked about everything, our futures, what we wanted to do with our lives, where we would live, get married, how many kids we’d have. It was magical and beautiful.” Her voice broke as the next part of her story pushed up through her mind.