Love Divided (Fortis Security Series Book 3) Read online

  Lance to his childhood sweetheart and Cad to a guy he had met here at the club. Not that he had any right to think like that now. He was saddened beyond belief by that fact and his stomach clenched in pain.

  Jace sat in his car not sure what to do. Should he go and talk to her or just pretend it hadn’t happened? He ran his hands through his messy copper blonde hair. God, he was so tired and had hardly slept a wink since his life had gone to shit with The Divine Watchers. He kept thinking about what had happened to him and what was probably still happening to Smithy and the boys. There was Megan as well. Why had she switched out his drug? What had made her choose him instead of Smithy or one of the others? Why switch it out at all and why turn on the Divine Watchers like she had? He knew she had no idea who he was, and that she was also the long-lost sister of his friend and girlfriend or make that ex-girlfriend at this rate.

  She had looked so sad though and so lost, and although she hadn’t spoken to him directly, he had felt a connection to her. Not a sexual one but something. He wanted to rescue her. Lucy was so self-sufficient and in control and Megan seemed to represent the soft side of his Lucy. The side she wouldn’t let anyone see. That must have been it. Her resemblance to Lucy had made him connect with her. He didn’t know what her reasons were though. If only they had given him the drug to enhance his God given gift first, then maybe he could have read her mind.

  He was still struggling to get his head around that. How could he have an ability all his life and not know it, and how the hell did someone develop a drug like that? He was learning to block so that he could control what he read and was so relieved about that. He honestly did not want to hear about how hot Nate was from Skye’s brain or how Dane had given Lauren multiple orgasms the night before. Jace shook his head to rid his brain of the thoughts.

  The one person he would love to be able to read he couldn’t though. Well, her and that Celeste girl she was totally blocked too. Scrubbing his hand over the stubble on his chin and up over his tired eyes, he made a decision. Jace couldn’t let Lucy think he had betrayed her. They had to talk.

  Getting out of his car he strode towards the club and slipped in through the side door. It was after hours, and the front was closed up. He moved into the main room, and before he opened the door, he could hear the grunts and thuds of people being thrown. The smell of sweat and cleaning products hit him as he opened the door. Jace moved inside, unseen by the two people on the mats, one of whom was his Lucy.

  God, she was magnificent. The perfect woman.

  Lucy was beyond beautiful, sexy as hell, clever, funny and she could hand most men their asses, and yet she was so kind and loving. He was ass over tea kettle for her, and she was lost to him. Despair washed over him as he thought about everything he was losing and how he was hurting her. It sucked the big one that none of this was his fault or hers and yet they were the ones hurting.

  He knew the moment she became aware of him. Her shoulders tensed and then fell in defeat, she released her partner from the ground strangle she had him in and slowly stood. He watched as she turned and said a few words to Lance and then walked towards him. The fire in her eyes made them flash, the sweat slicked her skin, and he had to fight his body’s natural response to the sexy image she made. She threw the towel around her neck to wipe the sweat. Her Gi clung to her body and her hair stuck to her face in little wisps. She was the most beautiful vision he had ever seen.

  She reached him, and he fought the urge to touch her, knowing if he did he would likely end up with a concussion and even that made his body harden for her.

  “Can we talk?” he asked, as he stood in front of her his hands in the pockets of his jacket. “I know what you heard. Please let me try and explain.”

  The look she gave him was guarded and filled with pain; he hated it. She had always been so open with him. His hands itched to grab her and pull her to him to just hold her in his arms and tell her it was all a mistake but he knew he couldn’t, so he left his hands where they were.

  “Why?” she asked, “How can you possibly explain this in a way that won’t end with me wanting to cut your balls off and shove them where the sun doesn’t shine.” Jace winced at the thought. He noticed that the room was empty except for the two of them.

  Lucy had crossed her arms over her chest in a defensive move, trying to ward off the pain he would cause her. They faced off like enemies, and that was the last thing he wanted.

  “I know you won’t believe me, but I didn’t want this.”

  “Just answer me this Jace. Of all the people in all the world, why her?” She asked looking like he had gutted her.

  “I didn’t choose this Luce. This wasn’t my fault.”

  “Answer the fucking question!” she shouted, her hands now on her hips, her face a mask of pain and bitterness.

  “I don’t know!” he yelled back, feeling angry now.

  Jace stalked closer to her, and she started backing up. He kept going as he spoke. He felt so fucking furious he could hardly contain it. Anger that this had happened but mostly anger that Luce was looking at him with so much pain.

  “It’s always been you, Luce. All the women I’ve fucked over the years have been poor substitutes for you, and now when I’m so close to tasting you, to touching you, it’s all gone.” He finished dejectedly as Lucy’s back hit the wall. He couldn’t stop himself; he kept going until he pressed up against her. He could feel her heat against his chest, and he knew she could feel his erection.

  “If I’m all you ever wanted why the fuck am I going to be an aunt to your kid instead of its mother?” she asked on an anguished hiss. She snapped her mouth shut as she realized how much that revealed about her feelings for him.

  “God Luce, do you know how much I wanted that?” he dropped his head so that their foreheads were touching. His hand caressed her soft cheek, and he ran his thumb over her full bottom lip. Their breathing was harsh and ragged as if both had run a marathon. He had never known pain like this. Everything he had ever wanted was being ripped from him, and he couldn’t do a thing about it. He wanted her so badly it was like a life force in his veins.

  Jace couldn’t stop it. He leaned forward and took her mouth in a hot, deep kiss. He needed this one last kiss. She met and matched his fire, her hands tunnelling into his hair and holding on tight causing a pleasant burn in his scalp.

  He gripped her ass with one hand, and his other hand slipped from her cheek, slid inside the vee of her Gi, and found her breast. He rubbed his thumb over the tight bud of her nipple as she arched into him. Their tongues duelled, he tasted the raw passion on her tongue, and his head swam at the rightness of it.

  Then he was being pushed back hard almost falling on his ass at the sudden move. The anguished cry coming from Lucy waking him from his lust-induced fog.

  They looked at each other, both breathing heavily, her clothes all askew, face flushed, and he noticed the pain filled tremble in her voice as she spoke,

  “Just go, Jace. Please just leave me alone. Go play daddy.” She turned and walked away, and he let her. The dead tone of her voice wrenching a hole in his gut, especially as he knew he had put it there.

  Chapter Two

  Lucy somehow dragged herself to the changing rooms and changed into her street clothes of jeans and hoodie. She didn’t shower because although she was sweaty as hell she could still smell Jace on her skin and she couldn’t bring herself to get rid of that even though he was the one who had broken her heart.

  She sat in her car the heat from the fan doing nothing to thaw her cold, broken heart. She let her head fall to the steering wheel, her whole body feeling dog tired. How could you feel pain like this and not die from it? She had been shot, stabbed and beaten until she could hardly walk, but this was so much worse.

  The last time she could remember feeling anything like this was after her mum died. She had tried over the years not to think about that time as it was just too painful. She had locked that period away in a mental vault and had thr
own away the key.

  Now though the feeling came rushing at her and the pain almost dragged her down. It took every ounce of strength she had to force her body to move and switch on the ignition. She needed to get home and just sleep for a month and then maybe she would feel normal again, or normal pre-Jace kissing her.

  Her fingers touched her lips where he had kissed her with such intensity and passion, and she wanted to rewind time and never go to his place and overhear his words. She could spend her life in blissful ignorance, and he could kiss her and touch her every day.

  No that wasn’t right. As painful as it was, she needed to know what he was like now before they made a life together full of lies. But why did he have to take her sister from her? And that was what he’d done, because she would never forgive Lizzie for this. Her anger gave her the energy to drive to her home, her sanctuary.

  She made it home and threw her workout bag on the floor in the hall. Her home was perfect for her. A two-bedroom new-build house near the centre of town. She had her own driveway and integral garage for her lovely yellow Mazda. A small lawn for sunbathing, with a tiny patio and barbeque area that was just to the left of the patio doors and a small rose garden at the end.

  Her home was a mix of modern with cute. The walls and floors were mainly plain colours of creams and neutrals, but she had cute pink throw cushions on her cream leather couch, and her kitchen appliances were all pale pink. It was kitsch, and she loved it.

  The piece de resistance was the shoes. She had a shoe lamp on her coffee table that had been hand made for her by her friend in college. The stand was different coloured high heels stacked on top of each other and lacquered. A shade decorated with hand drawn shoes of every style you could think of sat on top. That particular friend had gone on to be a big deal in the art world, she and Lucy still kept in touch as much as they could.

  She loved it, and it never failed to make her smile when she switched it on. Except for tonight. Tonight, she didn’t even notice it as she turned it on and walked to the kitchen. She ignored the Christmas lights she had draped around her kitchen units and went straight for the freezer.

  This situation required Bailey's ice cream, and as it was Christmas, she was going to pour Baileys over the top too. Taking her tub of ice cream and the bottle of Baileys she went back to the living room. She settled in her corner of the sofa, nearest the side table and ignored the Christmas tree with its pile of brightly wrapped presents underneath. Thank God she had taken everything else over to Dane’s the day before, at least she wouldn’t have to worry about that now.

  Turning on the T.V, she found back to back episodes of The Big Bang Theory. She watched it through dead eyes streaming with tears, not even the antics of Sheldon Cooper made her laugh, and she fed her broken heart until she fell asleep, with the soft wool blanket her mum had made for her when she was eight draped across her legs.

  Lucy woke up around five am. She felt slightly sick, and her eyes were gritty and swollen. She headed for the bathroom and as she moved she caught the faint hint of Giorgio Armani Code for men. It was the aftershave Jace always wore, and she loved it, even going so far as to buy herself a bottle so she could get her Jace fix when he was away.

  She surveyed her face in the mirror and didn’t like what she saw. Her hair was like a bird’s nest, her eyes looked like she had gone ten rounds with Tyson and she looked, well, like shit really.

  With a start, she realised it was Christmas morning. She groaned to herself. Happy Fucking Christmas. Santa brought you a broken heart and a huge stocking of self-pity. She knew she couldn’t go to Dane and Lauren’s today. The thought of seeing Lizzie made her want to puke.

  The betrayal was so painful she couldn’t think about it right now without it causing physical pain. She would call, no, she would text and say she had a stomach virus. They would believe that, and Dane would accept she wouldn’t come because of Lauren and those precious babies.

  She couldn’t wait to be an aunt again, and on that thought her mind flew to Lizzie and Jace. The thought of them having a child together gutted her like a rusty knife. The thought of him kissing her sister and making love to her flashed in her mind. She dashed to the toilet just as last night’s ice-cream remade an appearance.

  She lay with her head over the toilet, not caring that it was gross. She blocked her mind from any more thoughts of Jace and Lizzie and crawled to her feet. Brushing her teeth and washing her face, she decided to grab a coffee and then take a long bath.

  Walking to the kitchen in yesterday’s clothes, she put the pod in her coffee machine and grabbed a coffee doughnut from the box she had bought the previous day. She had discovered this little round doughy piece of heaven at the Bakery on Bridge Street and was now officially hooked. Biting into the soft, sugary, caffeine-laced treat she sighed. Maybe she should just gorge herself to death and then she wouldn’t have to deal with the shit her life had become.

  Lucy added a shot of amaretto to her coffee; it was Christmas morning after all, and took herself back to the bathroom. She soaked in the bath for nearly an hour, letting the exhaustion bleed out of her. She would have today and tomorrow to nurse her broken heart and then she would kick herself in the ass, drag herself up by her bootstraps and move on. After all, hiding her pain was what she did best. Put on a smile and front it out. But today she would eat Pringles, Mint Matchmakers and ice-cream and watch action movies all day. First, she needed to send a text to Dane.

  Hey big bro, Happy Christmas.

  I can’t make today. Have an

  awful tummy bug and don’t

  want to pass it to Lauren.

  Love to you all will call

  you in a few. X

  Hey baby sis, Oh that

  sucks. Do you want me

  to bring you anything?

  And wasn’t that just like Dane. His first Christmas with Lauren and he was still willing to drop everything and make sure she was okay. Tears pricked her eyes as she thought of her brother and Lauren and how wonderful they were together. He was going to be such an amazing dad.

  No thanks, bro. Gonna

  get some rest. Tell Dad

  and Lauren I love them

  and Happy Christmas x

  Okay. Txt if you need

  anything xx

  Okay xxx

  She felt like shit lying to him and making him worry, which she knew he would do. But she didn’t want a family feud, and if he saw her now, he would know. Plus, although she hated/loved Jace right now, he was Dane’s friend, and she didn’t want to fuck that up for them.

  Dressing in her red tartan pyjamas, she settled herself in front of her T.V and watched all the Die-Hard movies. Around 11am and halfway through Die Hard 2, she had a text from Lizzie.

  Hey, baby girl. Hope you

  feel better soon. We all

  miss you especially Mateo.

  Dad is driving Dane crazy

  trying to instruct Lauren on

  how to cook a turkey. I fear

  we may have open warfare

  soon. Anyway, if you need

  anything let me know.

  Xxxxx

  Lucy would not cry. She wouldn’t allow her love for her sister to soften her heart to what she had done. How could she be like this with her, and then do what she’d done with Jace? She threw her phone on the sofa without replying. She would text later when she didn’t feel like punching something.

  The rest of Christmas day passed in a junk food and movie blur. Until finally around 9pm she went to bed. She sent a text Lizzie to say ‘okay’ and then left it at that. She didn’t have the heart for anything else.

  Lucy settled in her king size wrought iron bed, under her thick flowery duvet and put her iPod on. She flicked it to Imagine Dragons and then lay there. She turned on her side and let her eyes wander over her shoe display. Her dad had built her an entire wall from floor to ceiling with little cubbies. Each was filled with a pair of shoes.

  She had ballet shoes, trainers, sand
als, boots, vintage heels, antique shoes, designer shoes. She was a complete shoe whore, and she didn’t care who knew it. Her entire spare room was dedicated to her shoe collection. Some she wore, others were purely for decoration. Her current favourite were burgundy four-inch platforms with a diamante ankle strap.

  Her favourite changed from week to week. She just loved them all. She got out of bed and padded over to her wardrobe. Kneeling she reached to the back and lifted out the shoebox there.

  Pulling off the lid, she looked inside and as it always did, her heart went to her throat and her stomach dipped. She hadn’t looked in this box for years, the pain it caused just too much. Fighting the tears that had begun to fall down her cheeks, Lucy lifted out the tiny pair of pram shoes with tiny pink bows. Her mother had bought them on a day out shopping with her and Lizzie. She had been heavily pregnant with Megan and had just fallen in love with the tiny shoes, declaring she had to have them for the baby. She had been holding her mum’s hand while they shopped, and remembered thinking that her mummy was so beautiful when she smiled.

  Lucy held them on her palm and pictured them all together in that shop, happy and smiling on a girlie shopping trip. The tears were falling relentlessly now as if a tap had been left on. She turned and took out the black satin court shoes that had belonged to her mother. He mother has always looked so beautiful when she dressed up to go out with her dad, and she always wore those shoes.

  Holding the two pairs close to her breast, she curled up on the floor and wept as if her heart would break in two. Great wracking sobs shook her body as her grief for her mother and her lost, and recently found sister cut through her.

  She wept for the guilt she carried for her part in her mother’s death and her sister’s disappearance, she cried for Lizzie who was lost to her now and finally for Jace and the future they would never have.